Friday, February 25, 2011

Simple joy - in pics :)

I love when the babies (BabyBoy is 3 1/2 years and Little is 18 months old :) I wonder how long I will call them babies, I see no end in sight so far ;)) ask to hold Littlest! Oh the sweetness!!!

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I also can't get enough of seeing Hubby with the babies. He is the best Daddy!! Oh, more sweetness! He gets so excited when he gets Littlest to smile, coo, or even have a big little laugh, he almost squeals and calls me over to see! So sweet, I love it!

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Reading time! (one of the littles' Bibles)

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Me and my girl :-)

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and my Little :)

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and my BabyBoy and Little :) watching a little show together :) (with Mommy sans any trace of makeup and crazy hair ;))

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We try to either read the Bible, do a little devotional at the end of dinner (great time, you have a captive audience ;)) or before bedtime :) they've been really loving our reading time before nightnight too.

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{Little smiles his big cheesy smile whenever he sees a camera go up or you say, Smile! :)}

We are in love again, again, again, and again!!! :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's only been...

*I've been sitting on this post for weeks. It first started out, it's only been 2 weeks, then it's only been three weeks, now it's been 5 weeks, but I'm leaving it at 4 ;).

I was just going to let it sit but I love y'all and want to be honest and open with you. There are reasons I haven't blogged about more deep feelings more often, for fear that a couple people that read my lil' ole blog would take things I say, twist them to be very negative, and spread it around to make it sound like I'm doing terribly or am unhappy. But I hope that won't be the case. :)

4 weeks... Last week it was: It's only been 3 weeks! The week before it was it's only been 2 weeks, since I pushed out our little big Littlest!! :)

I'm talking about what's going on between my body/recovery vs. my mind/state of mind vs. reality. I want to/should be/need to be doing __ but it's only been __ week(s).

Honestly...

My recovery:
Has been the best yet. Despite our sweet lil' (BIG ;)) love approaching 10 lbs (I still can't believe it!! :)), my recovery has gone very well. I was a sloooow walker for the first couple weeks, avoiding stairs as much as possible to reduce bleeding. I'm still bleeding some (not so much fun) and more the past couple weeks when I started doing a lot more, but overall I'm feeling really good. Some days more tired than others or little pain, but good. I had a lot of post delivery pain/contractions, for the first couple weeks, they say is so much worse with the third baby and after... they were right ;). I'm getting more energy back which is helping the next section below ;)

My state of mind:
I had my first big outing at a week and a half. I talked Hubby into a fam trip to Hobby Lobby :-). I had to walk slow and I couldn't last too long, but we were out and about! So, in my mind, I wanted/want to have the energy to do everything for the babies and Hubby that they need, reading, learning, playing, playgroups, storytime, playdates, etc., and that just hasn't been possible, despite a good recovery. Being tired, still recovering, and bending over a lot/chasing babies if needed/getting three babies in and out of the car/etc etc etc. would be a little tough. And I have felt guilty. Very guilty. Like I am letting them down, not giving them what they need.

In addition to feeling like I have failed being superwoman mommy, I've felt isolated (besides getting to hang with my Hubby) because I hadn't been feeling well enough to go out (except to go into one store at a time), and too tired to get all dressed and groomed to have people over.

And then I feel insecure because of blogging and twitter. My biggest insecurity is fear of rejection. Feeling like people don't like me. I'd been doing well with fighting off those feelings, as they come and go, but lately, not so much. And blogging and twitter sometimes amplifies those feelings. Silly or not - it's, mostly, wonderful to see everybody chatting on twitter but sometimes it's tough, hard on the ego, makes me feel unliked, seeing others get responses you hoped for after similar situations/tweets, seeing others' comment on friends' blogs but not yours (err mine ;)) (and I understand many reasons why :)). I told you I was being honest. :) And I've had my feelings hurt by several old friends again. I want everyone to like me. That is why I have taken a little more of a twitter and blog break for the past few weeks. I really don't want to focus my energy on being insecure about rejection. In addition to all of that, I want to run and exercise to lose all of this extra weight. (really I want for it to just fall off or just run it off in a matter of minutes ;)) Not complaining, just saying. :)

Reality:
After talking with Hubby and my Mom, I was reminded that these kind of times/situations are momentary. Especially for the little ones. They are... little. And resilient. And they're so little, they won't even remember this time. Especially when everything is back to normal. I felt like this when I was pregnant with Little, I felt bad for being so sick... and tired ;) to do the things with BabyBoy that I wanted to do. And this time too. Some days are a little bit tougher than others, especially the days that involve more toy tiffs, tantrums, or naps that were just too short. :)

But the past two weeks, I've started to get more energy back, and even though I still have those feelings of insecurity, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm trying to keep on with friends even if I feel insecure, instead of falling back and being silent (hasn't happened as well the past few weeks but I'm getting back to it :)). I've been working on starting a playgroup (first one is next week!). Started back to MOPs a few weeks ago. We had a wonderful naming and party for Littlest this weekend (I can't wait to share pics and all about it!). My Hubby is wonderful. I've been doing more at home with the littles again. And despite the toy tiffs, tantrums, and short naps, the littles try their best make each other laugh, ask for each other to play, chase each other around the house laughing, sing and/or play instruments together, and they just smile. Cheesy cute smiles. And it is good ;). It is life. Those feelings will happen. Those days will happen. But God is good. Very good. And He has blessed me with more than I deserve.

Psalm 62:5-8 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

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{please disregard my double chin and goofy happy face in this pic, just look at the cute babies and Hubby ;)}

I'll explain this pic in the next post :) Blessed. Way blessed. :) Hugs fam and friends! And thank you for reading :)

*With all of that said, I'm still a lil' ;) tired and have post-preggy mommy nursing brain, so this post may or not make any sense ;)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Some Pics from Littlest's Newborn Photoshoot :)

My dear friend Tracy came over last weekend to take newborn pics of HM (aka Littlest, aka Cheeks McGee ;))! HM was two weeks old. :) Tracy captured so many sweet, cute, and fun moments. It was not only so much fun seeing her, but she is SO sweet, and she did such a great job with all of the littles! She also snapped some fam pics and a few of BabyBoy and Little after we got them up from their naps. And she even brought us dinner! Thank you so much Tracy!!

I can't stop looking at these pics of our sweet baby girl and her sweet lil chunky cheeks! If you wonder how you can love more than one baby, you can stop wondering! ;) Each little one is such a little individual and a *perfect* part of the family. I am getting all teary because I am so thankful for HM and each of the littles, and my Hubby.

Ok, picture time! :) I hope you enjoy these pics and they bring a smile to your face today like they have for me! :)

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