Monday, September 19, 2011

We are NOT normal.

We are not a "normal" married couple.


Ok, many may say we're not "normal" in other areas either! ;) But that's a different conversation for a different day ;).
  • We never talk negatively about each other in public. And really try not even to joke negatively about the other, either. One can put on a pretty, I'm not affected by that joke, face, but inside it is really hurtful. There are things we can talk about with close friends but we love each other too much to say anything yucky (can you tell we have little ones? ;)) about one another.
  • We don't talk about how "hot" other people are. I know most people mean it in a jestful way, but if not careful, one of us could feel undermined and/or not good enough and those feelings if continued can really cause a rift that just isn't healthy in a loving special relationship.
  • We don't have lunch/dinner/coffee "dates" or ride in cars with members of the opposite sex. Only in rare circumstances in which we consult each other on. But really try not to.
  • We love each other's interests and have taught each so much about different things we love. And have grown closer through those times and more knowledgeable about other things.
  • We go upstairs at the same time at night after winding down/chatting and watching our shows or movie together. On rare occasion we don't, but we try to. (ETA: I'm usually the one saying, can we stay down a few more minutes? ;))
  • We attempt not to watch a lot of rated R movies.
  • We talk as much as we can, all the time. We used to get made fun of, by my mom and sister, all the time about how much we talked when we weren't together. But it is a wonderful thing to know so much about each others days, jobs, happenings, fill each other in on things we've heard from friends if we're apart. We also don't like looking like we're on different pages, tell people different things, like we don't speak to each other.
  • We are open about everything. If one of us feels a certain way about something, we share, we talk. We need to be on the same page about everything. Finances, how we want to spend, raising the littles, what type of house to live in, where to live, what we want our family and lives to look like, etc. We can even nicely tell each other if we think the way one of us is acting in a certain area might need to be "tweeked." :)
  • We try to remember in "discussions" that the other is a "good-willed" person and there is a deeper reason to just raising voices about a certain subject.
  • My hubby loves me to the ends of the earth and shows me in many different ways. And I attempt to show/tell him often how much I respect and am impressed with him. (he is quite amazing.)
  • We try to take care of disagreements in a timely manner. We try not to let things fester. We apologize. (Hubby does a better job, I am still working on that :))
  • We are honest with other. And he tells me if my dress makes me look... wide(r) ;) I want the truth, I can handle the truth! ;)
  • My Hubby has the final say on all decisions. He is the head of our household. I respectfully (most of the time :)) give my opinion, we can seek advice from those wiser than we, and then trust him and God in the decisions. I think this also makes us feel closer. Trust and faith binds. If something bad happens because of a decision, repeat the process, and try again. Don't demean the Hubby, he is your good-willed partner in life.
These are just things that we have found are great for our marriage. I'm not saying anyone is bad or wrong if they do things differently. We just have tug on our hearts and a passion for marriages. And love to see strong, healthy, life long marriages.

We have received some great advice over the years and before we got married, and these are some of the big things that we love about our marriage. We just see, far, far too often, things that make us sad about so many marriages in the world and couples not treating each other well. We want to be built on the Word of God and show that through our marriage and life. We are by no means perfect (I hate to even use that word). I pick, and say things at times I shouldn't but I am aware and trying to cut those down to a minimum. :) But we are striving to have a marriage that glorifies God. Because it is because of Him, that everything is so wonderful, not perfect, but wonderful. We can attest to that.

{9-16-11 Eight years, 3 months, 1 week, 1 day, and counting}

Whether it sounds silly or not, our marriage motto, as I've blogged before, is: Newlyweds Forever! And we intend to keep it that way. :) And we pray that we can demonstrate to our littles how a husband and a wife are to love and respect each other and live life *together* and not just as two people with a signed marriage document. All Glory, in everything, belongs to God.

Hebrews 13:4-7
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.


Clemson Girl said...

Such a fantastic post! So great of you to share :)

Kristin said...

You go up at the same time each night? I wish I could say the same! Being a WAHM means I burn the midnight oil a lot. Le sigh.

Lauren said...

love this! and reading each of your points makes me realize how "abnormal" Hubby & I are as well! I love all of things about our relationship!

Erica said...

Not to belittle this post, but every time I see a picture of that wall and the colors in your house I'm in love. You have such great taste! And you both are way too cute as a married couple, love your "motto"!

Lynsey said...

I love this. We always present a "united front" at all times. We have each others backs and never put each other down.

"B" said...

I just started following your blog and my husband and I get made fun of all the time for talking constantly throughout the day ... We also go to bed at the same time, dont talk, ride, eat with persons of the other sex (without consult) ... We have been happily together for over ten year!!!

Rebecca Jo said...

That's so inspiring! Definitely NOT normal :) What makes you two so special & perfect for each other!

if me & my hubs were THAT together - we'd kill each other ;) haha!

You know - its funny to see how those rules work for you all & I KNOW they wouldnt work for us - but we're hitting 16 years of marriage - so we're doing SOMETHING right ;) The similar thing though -God right there in the center! WHOO HOO!!! :)

You're awesome!

Lauren said...

Even as a single I really really loved this!!!! So much that singles can learn from married couples and what an amazing example you both are setting for your kids.

Karen At Home said...

Such a sweet post! My hubs and try to go to bed together every night. Great words to live by!

Rebecca (Craving Simplicity) said...

We have the exact same rules in our house! I guess we're abnormal with you!!! :)

Learning, Living and Loving said...

I absolutely love your blog. I am engaged and will be getting married next year and I love your advice and how much you respect your husband.

Jenna said...

I loved reading this! Thank you so much for sharing. Obviously I am not married yet, but I hope that one day I have a relationship like you and your husband's! I love your honesty about it and it is so evident in all of your post how much ya'll love and care about each other!

Perfectly Imperfect said...

I think if a few more couples were "not normal", the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. Very good post hon. We struggle with some of these but others we knock out the park :)

Faith said...

Love this! Your marriage reminds me a lot of mine - so we are not normal either! But, I wouldn't change a thing =)

daniella said...

I heart you guys. Love that you try, not even in a jokeful way, to sarcastically tease or put each other down. I've always known that's the one thing a man CAN"T STAND, no matter what day and age we live in. Even teasing in front of a good friend can stir up some stuff inside. And I hear that little boys are like that too. Can't mess with how God designed a man! with need for respect no matter what.

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